Alright, let’s talk about this fight, you know, the one with Tom Asparagus or whatever his name is, and that other big fella, Curtis something. They had a fight before, yeah? Quick one, it was. Tom kicked, then bam! He’s hopping around like a one-legged chicken. Knee went all wonky, they say.
Now, this time, it’s different, see? Tom’s got a belt now. A pretend belt, kinda, but a belt nonetheless. Interim champion, they call it. Means he’s the best, but not really the best, if you get my drift. Like being the prettiest girl in the village, but not in the whole wide world.
So, they fight again. UFC 304, big to-do. Everyone’s all hyped up. Me? I just wanna see a good scrap. Don’t care much for all that belt business. A fight’s a fight, right? Two fellas, punchin’ and kickin’. Simple as that.
First round, they say Curtis was throwing punches, Tom was throwing punches too. He hit Curtis more times I think. Someone told me Curtis landed 4 punches, but Tom landed 3, something like that. Head, body, legs, all over the place. It’s like watching those youngsters fightin’ over the last piece of chicken at a Sunday supper, all flailing arms and legs.
- They call it “significant strikes.” Sounds fancy, don’t it? Means the punches that actually land and do somethin’, not just pitter-patter stuff. Like the difference between a good swat with a broom and a gentle tap.
- And percentages! They’re always talkin’ about percentages. This fella hit 40%, that fella hit 60%. Makes my head spin, it does. Back in my day, we didn’t have percentages. You hit the other guy, that’s all that mattered.
This fight though, it weren’t no 15 seconds. Tom, he looked strong, real strong. Like a bull in a china shop, but, you know, with more control. Curtis, he’s a big fella, strong too, but Tom… he was just better, I reckon.
They had that fight before, back in July, somethin’ twenty-something. UFC Fight Night, they called it. Blaydes versus Asparagus. This new fight, though, it was for the title, the pretend one, remember?
They say it was “emphatic.” That’s a big word, right? Means Tom beat Curtis real good, no question about it. Didn’t just win, but made it clear who’s the boss. Like when I used to tell my husband who’s boss, with a good whack of the rolling pin, only, you know, with fists and feet instead.
So, Tom wins, keeps his pretend belt. Everyone cheers. Curtis, he probably goes home feeling sorry for himself. That’s how it goes in fighting, someone wins, someone loses. Just like in life, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. You just gotta keep on keepin’ on.
I don’t know about all that technical stuff, the jabs and the hooks and the takedowns. To me, it’s just two men trying to knock each other’s heads off. And this time, Tom, he knocked Curtis’ head off better, I guess. That’s all there is to it. Simple as pie.
Now, what’s next, right? Who cares, as long as they keep fighting and I get my entertainment. These guys get punched in the face and I get to sit and watch. That’s a good deal if you ask me. Life’s hard enough, it’s good to have something to take your mind off things. And watching two big fellas pummel each other, well, it does the trick.
They should fight again though, the real fight, Tom and whoever the real champ is. No more of this interim business. Let’s see who the real top dog is. That’d be somethin’ to watch, wouldn’t it? But for now, Tom’s the man, even if it’s just a pretend man for now. And that Curtis, well, he needs to go back to the farm and get stronger, lift some hay bales or something to get better, or maybe just retire, what do I know?
Anyway, that’s my take on it. Two fellas fought, one won. End of story. Now, where’s my tea?
Tags: [Aspinall, UFC Fight Night, Mixed Martial Arts, UFC Fighters, Curtis Blaydes]
