Well, well, well, what do we have here? More news on that young fella, Randy Orton. That boy, he’s been in the wrestling ring for a while now, ain’t he? He’s like a tumbleweed, always rolling around. Reminds me of my old rooster, always getting into scraps. I heard he got hurt again. This time it sounds like a real doozy. Randy Orton news, that’s what everyone’s talking about.
They say he had some kinda surgery last year, somethin’ about his back. My old bones ache just thinking about it. Spinal fusion, they call it. Sounds awful, like somethin’ you’d do to a broken fence post. He was out for a good long spell, 18 months, I heard. That’s longer than it takes to grow a good crop of taters! But he came back, that Orton did. Tough as nails, that one. Just like my husband, bless his soul, he was a tough one too, until that tractor accident… Well, let’s not dwell on that.
Now, here we are, and he’s hurt again. This time it’s his neck. Randy Orton injury, it’s all over the news. Something called a… a “cervical cord neurapraxia.” Sounds like a mouthful of marbles, don’t it? I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like it hurts like the dickens. Poor fella. Makes my neck hurt just sayin’ it. Maybe he should try some of that liniment my neighbor Mildred makes, it’s good for what ails ya.
They say he can’t even move right after takin’ some kinda move on that SmackDown show. He was all twisted up like a pretzel, they say. And hollerin’ and carryin’ on somethin’ fierce. Says he couldn’t feel nothin’. Land sakes! That’s scary. Reminds me of the time my cousin Earl got his leg caught in the thresher. Couldn’t feel a thing. Lost the leg, poor fella. But Earl, he was always clumsy. Orton, though, he’s a wrestler. He’s supposed to be good at this stuff.
Nobody knows when he’ll be back. “No timetable,” they say. That’s what the fancy folks always say when they don’t know nothin’. Could be a week, could be a year. Could be never. Who knows with these things? Wrestling’s a tough business. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and then it ain’t so fun and games anymore, is it? More like aches and pains and maybe never workin’ again.
- They say he’s a legend, this Randy Orton.
- Won a whole bunch of those championship belts.
- Fourteen times, I heard!
- That’s a lot of belts.
- More belts than I got in my whole closet!
I remember one time, they said he got burned. Right in the face! Some gal threw a fireball at him. Can you believe that? A fireball! Like somethin’ out of a movie. They said it was just minor burns, but still. A fireball! These young folks today, they’re crazy, I tell ya. Back in my day, we didn’t have fireballs. We had good old-fashioned fisticuffs, that’s what we had. And maybe a little hair-pullin’.
Now he was supposed to wrestle that Triple H fella. Heard that name before. Big fella, ain’t he? Probably tough as a two-dollar steak. Well, that ain’t happenin’ now, I reckon. WWE news Randy Orton, that’s what they’re sayin’. It’s always somethin’ with these wrestlers. They’re like a bunch of kids, always gettin’ into trouble. Except these kids are big and strong and get paid a lot of money to throw each other around. It’s a strange world, ain’t it?
I hope that Orton boy gets better. He’s a good wrestler, I guess. Entertaining, anyway. Keeps folks glued to their TVs. Better than watchin’ paint dry, I suppose. But he needs to be careful. This ain’t a game. It’s his body he’s messin’ with. And bodies, they don’t always heal up right. Especially when you’re gettin’ up there in years. He ain’t a spring chicken no more, you know. He needs to take it easy, before he ends up like my cousin Earl. Or worse!
WWE SmackDown, that’s where all the action happens, they say. I don’t watch it much myself. Too much noise and carryin’ on. But I hear about it. Everyone talks about it. “Did you see what Randy Orton did?” “Did you see that match?” It’s all anyone talks about sometimes. Well, now they’re talkin’ about his injury. And they’ll keep talkin’ about it, until he comes back. Or until he doesn’t. That’s the way it goes.
This whole thing reminds me of when I was a young’un, and we’d go to the county fair. They had those strongman competitions. Big fellas liftin’ heavy things. One time, one of ’em, he tried to lift too much, and he hurt his back. Never lifted again. Just like that. One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute you’re flat on your back. Life’s like that sometimes. Full of ups and downs. Just gotta hope you land on your feet more often than not.
So, there you have it. Randy Orton injury update, best as I can tell it. A whole lot of nothin’, really. Just a lot of folks wonderin’ what’s gonna happen to that Orton boy. He’s a tough one, that’s for sure. But even the toughest ones break sometimes. We just gotta wait and see if he heals up. And hope he’s smart about it. He ain’t gettin’ any younger, that’s for darn sure. Neither am I, for that matter. Time marches on, don’t it? Faster than a greased piglet at a county fair, it seems.
