Well, well, well, look at all you young folks with your fancy football games. Back in my day, we just tossed a pigskin around the yard, didn’t need no computers to tell us who was good. But, I hear you all whisperin’ about this Jordan Addison and Quentin Johnston. Who to pick? Who to pick? Sounds like pickin’ between two chickens, hopin’ one lays more eggs. Let’s see if this old lady can figure it out for ya.
First, you got this Addison fella. Heard he’s a young’un, just startin’ out. Like a little sprout, needin’ sun and water to grow big and strong. They say he’s quick, like a rabbit runnin’ from a fox. Catches the ball real good, they say. But, is he tough enough? These football boys are rough and tumble, like a bunch of bulls in a pen. Will he get squashed like a bug? That’s the big question, ain’t it?
- This Jordan Addison, they say he’s fast.
- They say he can catch, like a hawk snatching a mouse.
- But is he strong? Like an oak tree, or a little twig?
Then there’s this other one, Quentin Johnston. Sounds like a name from one of them fancy books. Heard he’s a big fella, like a prize-winning hog at the county fair. Strong, they say, can push them other boys around like they’re rag dolls. But, can he run? Can he catch? It’s like that old sayin’, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Just ’cause he’s big, don’t mean he’s gonna be good at catchin’ that ball.
This Johnston boy. If he get hurt again, what you gonna do? He had a drop rate issue last season, 4.5%, heard it from the farmhand who’s always on that computer thing. Is that good? Sounds like droppin’ your teeth in the outhouse to me. Not good. Not good at all. Gotta hold onto that ball like it’s your last piece of hard candy.
- Quentin Johnston, big as a barn.
- Strong, like a mule pullin’ a plow.
- But can he catch the ball? It was a problem last year.
Now, I ain’t no expert, just an old lady who’s seen a few things in her time. But, it seems to me, you gotta think about what you need. You need someone fast and quick, who can run like the wind? Then maybe this Addison is your man. But, if he is not tough, maybe he not gonna get you nothin’ but heartache.
You need someone big and strong, who can push them other boys around? Then maybe this Johnston is the one. But, if he can’t catch, what good is he? Like a cow that don’t give milk. Useless. And if he get hurt, what then? Gotta think about that. That’s what them experts say, right?
It’s a tough choice, like pickin’ between two weasels. Both sneaky, both quick, but which one’s gonna get in the henhouse? I can’t tell ya for sure. You gotta use your own noggin. Look at them boys, see how they play. See if they got that fire in their belly, that hunger to win. If they get hurt before, consider if they will get hurt again.
And listen to your gut. Sometimes, your gut knows more than your head. Just like when you’re pickin’ a good watermelon, you gotta thump it, listen to the sound. Same with these football boys. You gotta watch ’em, listen to what people say, and then make your own decision.
This fantasy football thing, it’s all a gamble, ain’t it? Like bettin’ on the horses. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But, that’s part of the fun, I suppose. Just don’t go bettin’ your whole farm on it, you hear? And remember, these are just boys playin’ a game. Don’t get too worked up about it.
Jordan Addison or Quentin Johnston, Quentin Johnston or Jordan Addison. It’s a real head-scratcher, ain’t it? Like tryin’ to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg. But, I hope this old lady’s ramblings have helped you a little bit. Now, go on and make your pick. And may the best man win, as they say.
Just remember what I always say: “Slow and steady wins the race.” Maybe these football fellas should learn a thing or two from that old tortoise. He might not be fast, but he gets where he’s goin’. And sometimes, that’s all that matters. Go for the stable one, if you find a stable one. These young folks, they are not always so stable.
Alright, I’ve said my piece. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got some chores to do. These chickens ain’t gonna feed themselves, you know. And remember, don’t be a fool like old farmer McGregor, bettin’ on everything he had. He was a mess. Be smart with your fantasy football.
