Well, let me tell you, I been watchin’ that WWE thing on the television for, Lord knows how long. They got all them big ol’ fellas beatin’ the tar outta each other. And them ladies too, they ain’t no shrinking violets! They got all these shiny belts, these WWE champions, and it’s a real rigmarole keepin’ up with who’s got what. So I’m gonna try my best to give you the full list of WWE champions, near as I can figure.
First off, you got that Cody Rhodes fella. Now he’s a big shot. He went and beat that Roman Reigns in that big ol’ WrestleMania thing they had. That was a sight to see, I tell ya. They got all them special rules, somethin’ called “Bloodline Rules.” Sounds messy if you ask me. But Cody Rhodes, he won the big one. They call it the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship, but that’s too many words, if you want my two cents. He’s the top dog now, that Cody Rhodes.
That WrestleMania was down in Philadelphia. Big city, that one. I ain’t never been, but it looks fancy on the TV. April 7th, 2024, that’s when he did it. He’s the WWE champion now. That’s a big deal in that WWE world, let me tell you.
Now, they got different groups, these WWE folks. They call ’em “brands,” like cattle, I reckon. There’s one called Raw, and another called SmackDown. They all fight each other, even within their own brand. It’s all a big to-do, seems to me. Each brand got their own WWE champions. They say got 19 championship. Lordy that sounds like a lot.
Let’s see, they got all different kinds of WWE champions. They got one for the big boys, the main one, like that Cody Rhodes. Then they got some other ones that ain’t quite as important, but still a big deal. They call them “secondary” champions. Sounds like they’re second best, but I reckon they’re still tough cookies.
- They got a WWE champion for the tag teams, two fellas fightin’ together.
- They got a WWE champion for the ladies.
- And each one of them brands, Raw and SmackDown, they got their own WWE champions for all these different kinds of fights.
It’s a lot to keep track of, I tell ya. But them WWE folks, they love it. They hoot and holler and carry on somethin’ fierce. And them wrestlers, they put on a show. They jump off the ropes, they slam each other on the mat. It’s a wonder they don’t break every bone in their bodies. But they are WWE champions for a reason, they are tough as nails.
They say there is like 22 wrestlers got them champion belts right now. They even say one of them got two belts. That seems greedy to me. Why not share the wealth? One of them old WWE champions was CM Punk. I heard his match was a tie, both of them wrestlers had their shoulders on the ground. They call that a draw. But he still got to keep his belt. This WWE has a lot of rules, hard to keep them all in your head.
WWE is this big thing all over the world. They got it on TV, they got it on the internet. Everybody’s watchin’ these WWE champions. These wrestlers, they’re like movie stars or somethin’. They make a lot of money, I reckon. More money than I ever seen in my whole life. And they’re famous, too. I guess some folks like that.
They say WWE is based in a place called Stamford, Connecticut. Don’t know where that is, exactly. Somewhere up north, I reckon. But they go all over the place, these WWE folks. They have them big shows in different cities. And folks come from miles around to watch them WWE champions fight.
This WWE thing, it’s somethin’ else. I don’t always understand it, but it’s sure entertainin’. All them big fellas, all them shiny belts. They got a list of WWE champions a mile long. And they’re always fightin’ and carryin’ on. It’s a regular soap opera, that WWE. But I’ll keep watchin’, long as they keep puttin’ it on the television. It’s somethin’ to do, anyway.
I heard them say that WWE is the biggest wrestling thing in the world. They got more fans than anybody else. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but they sure do have a lot of them. And they are all crazy about them WWE champions. These wrestlers are like heroes to them, I guess.
Well, I reckon that’s about all I know about them WWE champions. I hope it clear some things up for you. It’s a lot to take in, I know. But if you like watchin’ big folks beat each other up, then maybe WWE is for you. It sure is somethin’ to see, I’ll give it that.
