I tried to make my own “molly beers” at home today, let me tell you, it was a journey.
First, I had no clue where to even begin. I mean, what kind of beer is a “molly” beer anyway? I searched it up, and some sources online say “I’m not entirely sure what beer they drink on screen”. I guess it’s some kind of dark beer? With all the choices out there, from malts to barrels, and even adding stuff like vanilla, it’s a wild world.
So, I started with a basic dark beer kit I found online. Nothing fancy, just something to get my feet wet. Prepping everything took forever. I felt like a mad scientist measuring out ingredients and boiling water. Finally, after what felt like a century, I got the wort, that’s the sugary liquid before it turns into beer, into the fermenter.
Now, the waiting game. Fermentation is a slow process, like watching paint dry. I checked on it every day, sometimes twice, hoping to see some action. After a couple of weeks, the bubbling finally stopped, which meant it was time to bottle.
Bottling day was messy. I managed to get beer everywhere, on the counter, the floor, even on myself! But hey, I got it done. All the bottles were sealed and stored in a dark, cool place. Another waiting period. Ugh.
Finally, the day came to try my creation. I chilled a bottle, opened it up, and poured it into a glass. The first thing I noticed was the carbonation, it was incredibly vibrant. I took a sip, and well, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great, but it was drinkable. I saw some ranking online, with Guinness at number one, followed by Corona Light, Heineken, Sam Adams, and Blue Moon. My beer was nowhere near those, honestly. It wasn’t like those terrible stale lagers or those overly sweet ales, but it definitely needed some work. It’s more like a practice run.
I’m not giving up, though. I think I’ll try a different recipe next time, maybe play around with some extra flavors. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll actually make a “molly” beer that’s worth bragging about. For now, I’ll just keep experimenting and enjoying the process, as messy and unpredictable as it is.
