Alright, so yesterday I decided to see if I could get anywhere close to Rob Gronkowski’s legendary 40-yard dash time. Dude’s a beast, right? Always wondered how fast he really was. Figured I’d give it a shot, just for kicks.
First thing’s first, I needed a place to run. My backyard’s a joke – more like a 20-yard stumble. Hit up the local high school track. Luckily, it was empty. Perfect.
Okay, so I didn’t have any fancy timing equipment. No laser beams or anything. Just my phone’s stopwatch. I know, I know, not exactly Olympic-level accuracy, but it’s what I had. And honestly? I wasn’t expecting to break any records.
Warmed up a bit. Some stretches, a few light jogs back and forth. Felt like an old man creaking. Gronk probably doesn’t even need to warm up. He just explodes.
Got down in a three-point stance. Felt awkward as hell. Never really done that before outside of gym class like twenty years ago. Tried to remember what they taught us. Lead with your hands, push off hard, stay low.
First run? Awful. Completely face planted the start. Stumbled about ten yards in. Clocked something like… seven seconds? Embarrassing. I swear my grandma could do better.
Took a break. Walked it off. Figured I needed to focus on getting a clean start. Watched a couple of YouTube videos on how to properly start a sprint. You know, for science.
Second attempt was a little better. Managed to stay upright this time. Still felt clunky. My legs weren’t moving fast enough. Arms were all over the place. Got maybe a 6.2 seconds. Progress, I guess?
Did about five more runs. Each time, tried to focus on one thing: faster leg turnover, driving with my arms, staying low longer. Slowly, slowly started to shave off some time.
My best run? A pathetic 5.8 seconds. Nowhere near Gronk’s reported 4.68. Not even close. But hey, I tried. And I’m pretty sure I pulled a hamstring.
The takeaways?
- Gronk is freakishly athletic. That’s not news, but it’s reinforced.
- Sprinting is hard work. Especially when you’re not in shape.
- I need to invest in some better shoes. And maybe a physical therapist.
Overall, a fun little experiment. Humbling, but fun. Maybe I’ll try again next week… after my hamstring heals. Don’t expect me to be playing tight end anytime soon though.
