Well, let me tell ya, that there Money in the Bank thing, it was a real mess, you hear? A real botch job, like when I tried to make them fancy city biscuits and ended up with rocks. These fellas, they call themselves The Bloodline, supposed to be tough, but seems like they tripped over their own feet more than they punched.
This Tonga Loa fella, new to this Bloodline group, he messed up big time. Joined up with Solo Sikoa’s bunch not too long ago, and already causin’ trouble. It was like watching my prize rooster try to fly – all flapping and no liftin’. Money in the Bank, supposed to be important, and this fella goes and makes a fool of himself.
- They had this big six-man match, see?
- Cody Rhodes, that fella with the bleach-blonde hair, and his buddies, Kevin Owens and Randy Orton, tough guys, ya know.
- They were up against Solo Sikoa and his crew, Tama Tonga and that Fatu fella.
And lemme tell ya, it was a dust-up alright. Out there by the barricade, Cody threw that Fatu fella over it like a sack of potatoes. But that ain’t even the worst of it. It was just chaos, like a barnyard when the fox gets in.
This Solo Sikoa, he’s the leader now, I guess. Him and his Bloodline, they been stompin’ around, beatin’ up on folks. They beat up Cody and Randy and some others. Real bullies, if you ask me. Reminds me of that old goat back on the farm, always butting heads with everyone.
Now, this Money in the Bank thing, it’s supposed to be about climbin’ a ladder and grabbin’ a briefcase. Like tryin’ to get the last piece of apple pie at the church picnic. But this year, seems like all anyone remembers is the screw-ups. Like that Theory fella last year, he won but then what? Nothin’ but trouble.
And that main event, well, it was supposed to be the big show, right? Cody and Randy and Kevin against The Bloodline. But it just turned into a show for that Fatu guy. He was the one who helped Solo pin Cody. Pin him! Can you believe it? Cody, all tough and fancy, pinned by Solo ‘cause of that Fatu.
So, what does it all mean? I’ll tell ya what it means. It means these fellas, they got more muscles than brains sometimes. They’re supposed to be professional wrestlers, but they act like a bunch of kids fightin’ over a corn cob. And this Money in the Bank, it’s supposed to be important, but it just ended up bein’ a big ol’ mess. Like when the dog gets into the flour bin – chaos everywhere and nobody’s happy.
The Money in the Bank, it’s all about that briefcase, you see? It’s got a contract in it, a contract for a championship match. Means you can challenge the champ whenever you want, wherever you want. Like having a secret weapon. But if you ain’t got the smarts to use it right, it’s just a shiny box full of nothin’. Like that fancy toaster my nephew bought me, all buttons and whistles but it burns the toast every time.
They named this whole thing after that ladder match. Ladder match, bunch of guys climbin’ up, tryin’ to grab the prize. Reminds me of tryin’ to get the best apples off the top of the tree. Risky business, but sometimes you gotta take the risk to get the reward. But these fellas, they made it look like a bunch of chickens tryin’ to roost in a windy tree.
And then there’s this Edge fella. He won the World Heavyweight Championship a while back, beat that Undertaker fella with a spear. Now, that’s what I call winnin’. Not this messy business we saw at Money in the Bank. Edge, he was smart, he was tough, he got the job done. These Bloodline boys, they need to take a page out of his book.
So, there you have it. Money in the Bank, a bloodline botch, a big ol’ mess. They had their chance to shine, but they just ended up makin’ fools of themselves. Maybe next time they’ll learn to work together, maybe next time they’ll learn to fight smarter, not harder. But I ain’t holdin’ my breath. These fellas, they’re about as predictable as the weather in spring. One minute sunshine, the next minute a hail storm. And that, my friends, is the truth about the Money in the Bank.
